


A Million People, A Million Lines, and A Million Songs

by orphan_account



Category: Panic At The Disco, Young Veins
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Morning After, Oral Sex, Rimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-24
Updated: 2012-06-24
Packaged: 2017-11-08 12:20:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/443133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan and Brendon have been apart for almost three years. What happens when they meet again in Paris?</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Million People, A Million Lines, and A Million Songs

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post on this site, so let me know if I'm a total nob, okay?

“So fucking pretty,” Ryan breathed against his neck, sending shivers up Brendon’s spine. Brendon’s hands gripped the cold marble of the balcony that which overlooked the sparkling city lights. The sharp, chilly wind whipped across his face but it was Ryan’s hands on his hips that made him shiver. “How long has it been since we’ve had a hotel room together, Bren?”

“Two years, and 349 days,” Brendon’s voice broke on the words. He’d forgotten just how long it had been, despite having counted the days. The odds that they’d both be in Paris on the same day, so close to the anniversary of the day it had all ended, were near impossible. Ryan had called him, told Brendon where he’d be, all the while leaving Brendon to make his own decision, to come, or to stay far away. Brendon had always, and would always come. He would never admit that, of course, but he and Ryan both knew that he would be there. 

“I’ve missed you so much,” Ryan murmured in his ear, wrapping his arms tighter around him as he nuzzled the spot behind his ear.

“Have you? I thought you’d be more preoccupied with that blonde girl.” He didn’t let on that he knew much more about Ryan’s girlfriend than that she had blonde hair. He knew as much about her as mutual friends and the internet could teach him. He knew, however, that he didn’t exactly have room to talk, that his latest publicity stunt with Sarah was a very convincing false engagement. Ryan had even texted him a ‘Congratulations.’

“Who? Z? You know very well that she and I could never hope to have what you and I have. She and I both know that she’s a toy, and so am I. We’ve always just used each other for a good time. You,” he turned Brendon’s face towards his own, “You are the one, Brendon. Fuck, baby, you’re everything.”

“Are you bored with her? Is that why you called me, told me to come to you? Just want someone else to fuck?” Brendon’s tone had turned desperate. Scared and confused, he was a small animal, cornered by a predator. Brendon’s fears were not physical, as he knew Ryan was incapable of physically hurting him- regardless of Ryan’s actual feelings, Brendon meant _something_ to him. No, Brendon was intensely afraid of Ryan’s tight hold on his emotions. Ryan had preyed on Brendon repeatedly, using love to lure Brendon in. 

“Brendon,” Ryan crowded him against the marble balcony, his arms tightening around him. “What did I say to you when I left with Jon that day? What did I tell you?”

“I can’t remember.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Ryan said.

“You told me that you loved me. You said that it was for the best that we split.” Brendon’s chest constricted at the memory of Ryan’s forehead pressed against his own, words murmured against his lips as Ryan hastily wiped at the tears running down his face. Then Ryan was leaving him, Spencer was catching Brendon before he hit the ground, body shaking. Spencer never forgave Ryan. Neither did Brendon, supposedly, but there he stood.

“I needed to fix myself, Brendon. I was scared that I’d fuck you up as much as I had already fucked up myself. I’m better now,” he breathed. Brendon could feel tears on his neck; Ryan having finally broken down.

“So fucking a million people and snorting a million lines and writing a million songs about that girl- that’s how you fixed yourself?”

“Those songs were about you, baby. And yeah, I fucked up. It had to get worse before it got better. Do you want me to beg?” Ryan shivered against him.

“I want you to be honest. I want you to want me because you love me, not because you can’t have me. You only want what you can’t have.” 

“I love you. I’ll do whatever it takes, baby. I’ll win you back,” Ryan’s voice cracked against Brendon’s neck.

Brendon turned around in Ryan’s arms. In his eyes, Brendon saw a mixture of emotions. He saw hurt and confusion and determination and desperation. He saw love. 

“You really love me?” He asked, taking in Ryan’s features. Ryan could fake emotion, of course. Brendon had seen him do it a million times, which was how he could decipher whether Ryan was actually faking it, or if his feelings were genuine. 

“I really love you, Bren. If you don’t believe me, I get it. I just wan-” Brendon cut him off with a soft kiss. Ryan responded hungrily, sucking in a gasp at the same time he pulled Brendon closer. “Please believe me,” he breathed as Brendon pulled away.

Brendon focused his eyes on the bed behind them, still untouched. Ryan followed his gaze, “Is that what you want?”  
Brendon nodded.

“Is that all you want?” Brendon shook his head.

“Ry, you have to build trust. It’s not something that I can just have with you. But,” he sighed.

“But?” Ryan looked all too hopeful.

“But I do want it. That is, if you want it with me. If you want a relationship, with trust, and love and all of that, I need you to tell me now. And it’s not something you can go back on this time. If you want to be with me, you have to commit to it, because I can’t lose you again.”

“I want you, Brendon. I want you more than anyone ever could. Please,” Ryan’s voice grew soft, eyes pleading. 

“Take me to bed.” 

Ryan took all of 15 seconds before fusing their mouths together once more. The kiss began as a starving connection of the two, but gradually slowed, became more thorough. Ryan sucked Brendon’s lower lip between his teeth, nibbling lightly on it. “I’m going to take my time with you, baby. Going to go slow when I fuck you, make sure you feel every single thing I do to you.” 

Fast forward ten minutes and Brendon was spread out on the bed, sans clothing, gasping as Ryan placed kisses down his neck, further to his stomach, stopping to nip playfully at his navel. Ryan continued downward, nuzzling at the base of Brendon’s cock. He lapped at the head before taking the majority of his cock into his mouth, the head hitting the back of his throat. Brendon’s head hit the bed as he let out a small yelp of pleasure at the sensation. No one gave head like Ryan.

Brendon’s eyes fluttered shut as his fingers gripped at Ryan’s hair, the pads of his fingers rubbing against Ryan’s scalp. His eyes flew open however, when Ryan’s mouth left his body entirely. Brendon let out a whimper of protest while Ryan smiled smugly, readjusting Brendon’s hips. Ryan’s lips were at Brendon’s entrance kissing and sucking while Brendon gasped and moaned and writhed on the expensive silk sheets. Correction: no one could give a rim job the way Ryan could.

Once Brendon was slick and stretched, Ryan removed the rest of his clothes, crawled on top of Brendon, and kissed him as if he hadn’t just spent ten minutes rimming the other boy. Brendon relished it anyway, moaning and wrapping his legs around Ryan’s waist, urging him closer. The rest of the night was a blur.

The sun shone too brightly through the open curtains that led to the balcony, where Ryan and Brendon had conversed the night before. Brendon’s head rested on Ryan’s stomach, his body curled around Ryan’s legs in a position that didn’t seem comfortable, but there he slept. His fingers carded through the sleeping boy’s hair as he recalled the events of the previous night. 

Brendon stirred, placing a kiss on Ryan’s stomach, still half asleep. “Hey,” Ryan whispers, his fingertips brushing the back of Brendon’s neck.

“Morning,” Brendon groans, moving to rest his chin on Ryan’s lower rib cage, letting out a satisfied sigh at the feeling of Ryan’s hands in his hair. 

“Are we going to be okay?” Ryan asked, the sad and confused persona from the previous night returning. Brendon didn’t approve of this version of Ryan, the one that only came out when he was upset at Brendon’s hands.

“We’re going to be more than okay. It’ll just take time.” Brendon moved up so that his face was close to Ryan’s face before giving him a lazy kiss. They each tasted like sleep and sex, but they needed this. They needed to familiarize themselves with each other again, to learn how to be with each other without destroying each other as they once had.


End file.
